Sunday, September 04, 2011

Keith Vs Keith

Okay. I missed out on posting a sculpture yesterday, so in order to get myself back on track I've uploaded two sculptures today.

The following dialogue was overheard:

Human: Oh my god a Monster!
Monster: Aaaah a Human!
Human: Please don't eat me!
Monster: Please don't expose me to reality television!
Human: You're not going to eat me are you?
Monster: What? No.
Human: Please, please don't eat me!
Monster: Stop saying that. Why would I eat you?
Human: I... I thought that's what monsters did...
Monster: No I just came over cause I saw you were wearing the same vest as me.
Human: Oh, I guess we are wearing the same vest.... Well, why did you scream than?
Monster: You screamed, so I screamed. I always scream when someone else screams....[quietly: for ice cream ]
Human: Oh. Okay than.
Monster: Hey is that a Nikon D-70...
Human: um... yeah.. is that a Nikon D-70?
Monster: Yeah! Wow! Crazy! I mean the same vest and the same camera!? What are the chances of that?!
Human: I dunno... I mean yeah, wow.
Monster: Oh hey, did you take my picture?
Human: Um... yeah, I did. Is that okay?
Monster: Yeah, no, not really. I mean I can't go around being caught on camera... It's just..
Human: Oh, okay. No problem I'll just delete it.
Monster: I dunno, I'm not sure if I can trust you... I mean we do have the same vest and the same camera, which is pretty sweet and all... but you still are human
Human: Here you can watch me delete it if you like.
Monster: I dunno, you humans are so cunning. If I let that picture get out, than I'll end up all over the news, and one thing leads to the next I'll have a book deal and I'll get offered boatloads of money be part of a reality TV show. It's easy to say I would turn it down now, but I mean the money isn't right in front me, I mean it's hard to say no to that kind of cash and I'll probably buckle and give in.... and so then I'll just be part of the problem. I really don't want that.
Human:Well..... Here. Take my camera.
Monster: ....You know, I am kinda hungry now that I think about it... I think I'm gonna have to eat you. You understand right? no hard feelings about this.


Anonymous said...

fucking great.

PROZAC said...

fuckin thanks.

Keith said...

Read it with a broad Strine accent (g'day mate) and you've got me to a T.

Lookin' great Zac, can hardly wait to get hands-on...